Confessions of a Prissy Primitivist
Filed under: Uncategorized — Giulianna Maria Lamanna @ 1:45 PM
When I first read Daniel Quinn’s Ishmael trilogy (Ishmael, The Story of B, and My Ishmael), I was struck by an urgent desire to do something helpful for humanity, to stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution. In short, I had an earnest desire to save the world. And although Quinn had thoroughly convinced me that civilization was inherently unsustainable and would collapse in short order, I was glad that his solution didn’t involve doing anything drastic like running off into the woods. I could stay in civilization, in the society in which I had been born and raised, and merely start or join a tribal business. Civilization would collapse, but not in my lifetime: it was my job to live in more eco-friendly housing and start an eco-friendly tribal business and do all sorts of little things that wouldn’t change my lifestyle much at all.
I was far less enthused when, after a few years of digging deeper into the issues to which Quinn had introduced me, I figured out that, yes, civilization will collapse within my lifetime and yes, the solution is exactly to run off into the woods. You see, I’ve never exactly been the do-it-yourself type. I enjoyed the outdoors, of course, but only so long as it came outfitted with Porta-Potties and I could get back to a nice sushi place by lunchtime. Now, I’m not a girly-girl, afraid of bugs and small rodents. (Though spiders do terrify me, most other bugs don’t, and it is a deeply-held belief of mine that everything furry is cute—including woolly caterpillars.) But I’ve also never been a tomboy. I can get dirty, for a time, but after a few hours of that I need a shower, a shave, and a stick of deodorant or else somebody is going to get strangled. Subsequently, I’ve earned the nickname “the Prissiest Primitivist.”
Rewilding has been a painful process for me. Although I understand on a theoretical level that forager bands and tribes lived quite comfortably, somehow the teachers and books that my husband and I have been learning from never really address those comforts. On one extreme of the rewilding approach, everything’s in terms of “survival”—how to stay alive just long enough to be rescued, or how to be enough of a testosterone-pumped badass to be able to survive as long as you want to. On the other extreme is the hippy-dippy, “get-back-in-touch with the Earth” philosophy, wherein it is generally assumed that everything above and including bathing is “unnatural.” Now, don’t get me wrong: I’m all for getting back in touch with the Earth. But take a look at some of these forager tribes who lived perfectly sustainably for thousands, even tens of thousands, of years: they shaved. They cut their hair, braided it, wove ribbons through it, and put bear fat in it for shine (the original hair gel). Sometimes, they plucked each individual hair out of their chest and then painted their whole damn bodies red and black. They draped themselves in shiny beads and shells and luxurious furs. By our standards, even the toughest braves were downright… well, prissy.
In fact, that’s where the term “noble savage” came from. “Noble” would later be taken as good or honorable, but at first it just meant “like the European noblemen.” Europeans came to America and were shocked to find a whole continent of people who lived just like their nobles: they wore only the finest furs, ate a varied and healthy diet of meats, fruits, nuts, and vegetables, they could all hunt and all reap the rewards of hunting, and they wore elaborate, beautiful jewelry. None of these was restricted to a small elite, as in Europe: it was free for all. Hence, “noble savages.” In all our talk of “surviving the crash,” we often forget that the lifestyle we’re attempting to transition into is chock full of civilization’s greatest luxuries. I don’t have to forgo deodorant; I just have to make my own. Same with makeup, soap, hair gel, perfume, and pretty dresses. Looking at pictures of women wearing traditional Indian outfits, they don’t exactly look like the hard-bitten survivalists or unshaven hippies that we rewilders, for whatever reason, assume we must be. They look fabulous! The best thing about tribal cultures is that they offer a place for women—and yes, that includes women who like to look good.
So that’s how I came up with the idea for this blog. The Fabulous Forager will talk about what indigenous women all over the world have historically done to live sustainably in style, and will also provide ideas on what you can do right now to at least reduce the amount of unpronounceable chemicals in the shit you put on your face. Because while it is important to learn basic skills like building shelter, making a fire with a bow drill, brain-tanning hides, etc., let’s not forget that there’s more. Once you’ve learned to survive in the wilderness, you can learn to thrive in the wilderness. And even if you haven’t learned to survive yet, let’s face it, huddling together in the frigid darkness because no one can make a fire is a hell of a lot more bearable when you all smell nice.
Nice article Giuli, I look forward to reading more. I think you’re writing in an area where theres definately room for more writing in.
Comment by Just Visiting — 2 September 2007 @ 8:59 PM
Yay! So glad to see this blog finally come to life. I look forward to new (old) ways to look good.
Comment by Rix — 2 September 2007 @ 11:21 PM
Only an American could take the idea of a gatherer-hunter lifestyle and make it all about wearing fabulous fur coats and doing each others hair all day. And I thought you guys were only interested in making twenty sided dice from elk antler….
Comment by Anonymous — 3 September 2007 @ 1:31 AM
Oh Yeah!
No you’re ‘talking’!!!
(And dichotomies of superiority-inferiority are out the window - not even in da house, out of the book - not even on the page)
As I’m a male reader, if it wasn’t patronising I’d say: “Go girl go!” - Jason has done some great writing IMHO, amongst yours & others here - but MORE difference - variety - diversity - from women - from various people - all towards society(s) of sustainable people(s).
Comment by Jase from Oz — 3 September 2007 @ 2:13 AM
Hey, Anonymous! How’s that holier-than-thou attitude and total lack of a sense of humor going for you? Havin’ fun? Good, good…
By the by, you might want to check your research. The concept of the “gatherer-hunter” is a few decades out of date, now that we know that foraging societies make meat at least 50% of their diets, and usually more. Toodles!
Comment by Giulianna Maria Lamanna — 3 September 2007 @ 9:40 AM
A good shot of glam-realism, keep it up! I have a lot of time for James Hillman’s theory that in Freud’s time sex may have been the prime target of repression, but that in our time beauty is the main candidate. He notes that Western psychology has almost nothing to say on the subject. “Beauty” is everywhere in one sense of course, but that’s just exploitative window dressing for the consumer society. It’s not something we involve ourselves in personally.
I wrote something last year lambasting “neo-greens” for their knee-jerk rhetoric that painted hippy environmentalism as “hair shirt wearing”. Whereas in my experience, the anti-consumerism eco-activists I know are intensely involved in sensuality - dressing up, partying and celebrating beauty - only it’s DIY and has little to do with Photoshopped images of beauty.
Comment by Gyrus — 3 September 2007 @ 10:37 AM
Finally! It’s here! This is awesome!
Comment by Urban Scout — 3 September 2007 @ 11:08 AM
Yay! So glad you got this started! People are so dumb. Did you notice on the hate on Urban Scout commentary over at metafilter someone said, “Oh, you’ll also notice that Urban Scout’s girlfriend apparently keeps a razor handy to shave her legs.” Now a)There would be nothing wrong or hypocritical about shaving my legs. b) I actually don’t. Not every chick who doesn’t shave their legs has hair like an italian peace corps representative, that’s just another myth. c)If I did have leg hair more like Urban Scout and I wanted to get rid of it I would probably try waxing or sugaring. Totally primtive and way less maintainence than shaving.
Comment by Penny Scout — 3 September 2007 @ 11:15 AM
Gyrus, I just finished reading your article and it’s utterly fantastic. Thank you so much for posting a link to it here.
Comment by Giulianna Maria Lamanna — 3 September 2007 @ 11:19 AM
<blockquote>Not every chick who doesn’t shave their legs has hair like an italian peace corps representative, that’s just another myth.</blockquote>
*raises hand* I do! Partly because I am Italian… and Jewish. So naturally, things can get a little hairy. *rimshot* ‘Tis why I must shave. I’ve often wished I was a blonde, so the arm and leg hair wouldn’t be so obvious, but alas. Luckily for me and other hairy girls, there’s always primitive methods of hair removal.
Comment by Giulianna Maria Lamanna — 3 September 2007 @ 11:33 AM
This feels so exciting…and don’t forget us prissy guys (and fancy lads)!
Comment by Willem — 3 September 2007 @ 1:26 PM
Yeah, we need a word that is the primtive equivalent of metrosexual! tribalsexual? arborosexual? ecosexual? primisexual?
Comment by Penny Scout — 3 September 2007 @ 4:27 PM
wait, wait, biosexual! get it? combo of bioregional and bisexual.
Comment by Penny Scout — 3 September 2007 @ 4:28 PM
As Jerry Brown said of Ross Perot in 1992, “There’s no such thing as a billonaire populist.” A similar statement could be made about a primitivist with a website.
Comment by grousling — 3 September 2007 @ 4:58 PM
Is Flannel still in? Cus there always seems to be an overabundance of flannels at our Salvation army…can’t imagine people with any fashion savvy that would part with such relics.
Best of luck w/ this new narrative adventure!
Comment by Bubba — 3 September 2007 @ 5:04 PM
How so? Because people who recognize that technology can sometimes have good or bad effects should never pick and choose which technologies they make use of?
I’ve been stuck with the “hypocrite” label by people who want to project their favorite straw man onto me and my failure to live up to their imaginations of what I should believe, rather than what I actually believe, just today, I swear, the next person who does it to me, I’m going to punch them in the face.
Comment by Jason Godesky — 3 September 2007 @ 6:11 PM
I can see why my “Jashee Denford” and “Dr. Tiresome” frogeries were deleted; I’m just wondering why the the legitimate comment I made under my usual handle is gone?
Comment by venuspluto67 — 3 September 2007 @ 9:53 PM
They weren’t, there was just some problems we fixed with the syndication. If you can manage to get to the actual comment page, you can find the ethereal fold in cyberspace where they still exist. If you’d like to see them exported here, that can certainly be arranged. Might be good to consolidate the discussion.
Comment by Jason Godesky — 3 September 2007 @ 10:00 PM
How dare you start a blog about personal hygiene, you total poser. Personal hygiene is the enemy of cool righteous rad primitivism! I do just fine without any such thing. The reason all those people run away from me is I’m just too cool for them! Yeah, that’s it. I’m just waaay too cool for them!
Comment by Dr. Tiresome — 3 September 2007 @ 10:03 PM
Everybody stinks but Jesus! And that’s the truth because that’s the name of hymn we sang in church back when I was a little kid before I started having those icky sinful thoughts about the pastor’s teenage son. [SOBBING] Oh, I was such a sweet an innocent little Christian boy back then. Whatever happened to me?? [/SOBBING] {BOOHOOHOOHOOHOO! WAAAAHH!} [MORE SOBBING] I’m such an icky sinner man!! [/MORE SOBBING] {/grabs two tissues from Kleenex box} Excuse me, I’ve got to go, uh, pray. Yeah, that’s it. I’ve got to go pray!
Comment by Jashee Denford — 3 September 2007 @ 10:13 PM
How about “Petrosexual?”
Like, petrofied wood. Petro, fossils? old rocks?
Petrosexual = Ancient Earth Sexual?
Just throwing ideas out here.
Comment by Urban Scout — 3 September 2007 @ 11:38 PM
This is awesome Guili, very enjoyable, original and needed.
Comment by Dan Bartlett — 4 September 2007 @ 1:36 AM
Great to see your blog Guili. I can’t wait to show my fiancee she can be a sexy rewilder, rather than some unshaven hippy(like me).
Scout, love the Petrosexual.
Comment by Rory — 4 September 2007 @ 8:39 AM
Paleosexual, c’mon!
Comment by Jason Godesky — 4 September 2007 @ 8:44 AM
I like “petrosexual” but it sounds too much like petrol-sexual, to me. [Insert peak-oil ironies here]
I propose lithosexual or paleosexual.
Although with those terms it sounds like we prefer to fuck rocks–really old rocks. Or if someone has heard of the paleo diet, they may think we feel sexually attracted to a low carbohydrate diet with lots of protein and healthy, omega-3 balanced fat.
Comment by Rix — 4 September 2007 @ 8:56 AM
Anonymous, what do you think HGs did with all the extra time they had on their hands from their 3 hour work day? They did their hair while wearing fabulous coats so that they would look good for their antler dice games. Jeez, did you even read the post?
Comment by Rix — 4 September 2007 @ 8:58 AM
Damn, Jason beat me by 12 minutes.
Comment by Rix — 4 September 2007 @ 8:59 AM
Sorry.
Lithosexual would mean you like to get down and dirty with dirty rocks. Paleo means old, so that means you like to kick your sexuality old school. Really old school. 
Comment by Jason Godesky — 4 September 2007 @ 9:00 AM
Or how about just, y’know, Sexual?
Comment by Andrew Jensen — 4 September 2007 @ 9:19 AM
VP, you’re Jashee Denford?! And here I was, thinking the whole time that I’d procrastinated on my novel for so long that my main character had evolved a consciousness and was leaving self-loathing comments on my blog posts! And now I find that it was all just a sham? Is that all my mostly-abandoned novel is to you, VP, just one big joke? You’re a terrible, terrible person.
Ditto.
Comment by Giulianna Maria Lamanna — 4 September 2007 @ 9:25 AM
The Devil made me do it!
Comment by venuspluto67 — 4 September 2007 @ 10:04 AM
It’s unlikely that painting or engraving words on stone or wooden tablets and distributing those big heavy things to passers-by on the street would get the word out very far and wide.
Comment by venuspluto67 — 4 September 2007 @ 5:01 PM
this thing sucks for real.
stop writing already.
Comment by Doctor Awesome — 4 September 2007 @ 9:16 PM
Oh, doc, we missed you. Where’s the energy? The commitment? It’s like you don’t even care about telling us how much you don’t like us anymore!
Comment by Jason Godesky — 4 September 2007 @ 10:01 PM
My original comment:
I’m glad you’re starting this blog. One of the things that always gave me pause about rewilding is that I like clean-cut, clean-shaven guys who smell nice (or at the very least who don’t smell bad). The hippy-dippy type of survivalist kind of turns me off. (Bathing unnatural??? Not if you want to have sex with me, buddy-boy!)
Oh hooray. Dr. Grausam is back.
Comment by venuspluto67 — 4 September 2007 @ 10:31 PM
I love Paleosexual. I’m gonna go ahead and start using that one. Once I get those darn buckskin short shorts finished! I tell you, making buckskin clothes is a lot fucking harder and more time consuming than I ever thought. “You will wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life…” Darn right! That shit is work. I see your fight club reference and match you.
Comment by Urban Scout — 5 September 2007 @ 1:18 AM
Hey –
Very cool, Giuli… not usually my thing, but a fabulous niche for you to explore. Have to admit, even I have spent some time researching various recipes for lotions and shampoos and such thing
— I was looking for a website link to a place I found with huge recipes but no philosophy, thought you might find interesting. But alas, can’t figure out where I filed it. If I find it, well, you know…
And the rest of you……. damn jokers…….. crack me up…….. paleosexual, indeed……..
:-) 
Janene
Comment by janene — 5 September 2007 @ 9:44 AM
Nice, I’m glad to see someone taking this approach. I’ve done something in the same vein with the beginning of my Wild Woman Primer series on my blog, but this has a whole other feel LOL. I’ll have to add the Fabulous Forager to my Wild Woman Resources.
Comment by Kiva — 5 September 2007 @ 6:41 PM
Thanks, Kiva! I just added your blog to my blogroll.
Comment by Giulianna Maria Lamanna — 5 September 2007 @ 8:42 PM
yay, I added you to my new Wild Women category of links on my site
Comment by Kiva — 5 September 2007 @ 9:18 PM
Giuli, you’re a goddess, seriously.
People (women _and_ men) love to muck about with their appearance. In our society, men (used to be) trained out of it except in certain restricted ways. Hey, if it was okay for the Spartans and the Gauls and the Germans, let alone everyone in the New World and all our ancestors way before the Neolithic, then what on Earth could be wrong or even trite about discussing this aspect of human culture?
Even in Tasmania, apparently once the most ‘backward’place in technological terms, the people wore red ochre in their hair. Yes, even people that didn’t know how to start a fire from scratch felt a hair-gel equivalent was a necessity.
This is great, a much-needed addition to a neglected topic. I look forward to more!
Comment by Eric — 6 September 2007 @ 5:56 AM
Permasexual?
Wait a minute, what was the original question?
Oh, and the text lineup is all wonked out here - poor IE user that I am…
Comment by neighbor — 6 September 2007 @ 2:32 PM
Got a screenshot of that? We tested it out on IE6 and IE7 on Windows XP, and it looked fine there. Can you elaborate on the nature of the “wonked out”?
Comment by admin — 7 September 2007 @ 9:27 AM
The Fabulous Forager…
The long-awaited blog by Giulianna Lamanna (of the Tribe of Anthropik) has finally come to fruition. Check out Giuli’s musings on how to keep yourself clean and beautiful in a primitive world.
What?! You thought primitive people must have loo…
Trackback by WildeRix — 7 September 2007 @ 10:50 AM
Yay!
Comment by Tara — 11 September 2007 @ 5:39 AM
Giuli, Jason,
thanks for working out the disappearing text - things still move to the left but then they center back and start over - now I don’t lose anything on my screen. Yay!
Comment by neighbor — 11 September 2007 @ 9:58 AM
oops, except now I lose things to the right… is it just me? shall I send another screen shot? darn!
Comment by neighbor — 11 September 2007 @ 9:59 AM
OK, we’re now in full-blown poltergeist territory. We didn’t do anything to it.
Comment by Jason Godesky — 11 September 2007 @ 8:06 PM
“By the by, you might want to check your research. The concept of the “gatherer-hunter” is a few decades out of date, now that we know that foraging societies make meat at least 50% of their diets, and usually more. Toodles!”
Wowzers, you do your research so more radical than doctor tiresome, like OMG!
Cause you know what, girlfriend, “gatherer-hunter” is the adapted term over “hunter-gatherer”. Like totally!!
This site is FAB!! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND! At least now we have a clear indication of what a paleoDOUCHE is like!! Like cools! WOW!
Poodles and toodles,
H.I.P.S.T.E.R.S.
(how idiot “primitivists” so totally eradicate relevant ’stuff’)
Comment by H.I.P.S.T.E.R.S. — 12 September 2007 @ 12:02 AM
“Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you.”
– Caped Boy in Wet Hot American Summer
Comment by Jason Godesky — 12 September 2007 @ 8:13 PM
Many so called primitive people had high standards of hygiene since staying clean reduced the chances of getting infected wounds or parasites which could weaken a person. Californian natives bathed every day, according to records kept by the missionaries.
Birds and animals try to keep themselves groomed and clean for the same reasons. Birds preen their feathers to keep them in shape for flying and warmth and take dust baths to remove lice. They eve sit on anthills and allow the ants walk all over their bodies to eat the lice among the feathers.
Soap can be made from soapweed (grows in Calif) and buckey fruit (looks like chestnuts but is toxic to eat)
Comment by Utopia Bold — 12 September 2007 @ 9:40 PM
Hmmmm. That quote looks reeeeaaallly familiar.
Comment by Rix — 18 September 2007 @ 8:49 PM
By the way, Giuli, that H.I.P.S.T.E.R.S. douche brought up a douchingly good point. You should write a post on primitive douching. I mean, sure, you could just make wine and let it go to vinegar, mix it with some water and have yourself a nice summer’s eve moment. But I bet the indigenous women of the world knew some good tea washes for keeping the nether regions nice and prissy.
Thanks, H.I.P.S.T.E.R.S.
Comment by Rix — 18 September 2007 @ 8:56 PM
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Comment by Alfonso Tanner — 12 November 2008 @ 5:21 PM